I finally got a chance to somehow engage with one of my life dreams: teaching. I’ve been asked several times to share my process, and while it seems like it is easy to describe, it’s not. I tried to provide a simple, streamlined course that gets to the essentials very quickly, but provides an open framework for learning more. There are four books for the course, compendiums on Graffitti Art, Abstract Expressionsim, Critical Theory, and Animation History. This course is as vast or simple as you would like to perceive it. The books are a foundation for what I do, and while I specify specific technology in the materials, equipping with what I have provided will serve as a wellspring of new creation and invention if you let it.
I’ve been really influenced by the simplicity and approachability of contemporary design, and yes, even the swiss style. It’s all in the course, and you get to meet me! On my own terms, in my own reality. I really hope you join. It’s a reasonable cost. I hope it inspires anyone who ever was interested in my painting process. And is an open door into the limitless realities of the visual arts. It’s all here, and I’ll be adding to this school I’m starting over the coming year. I have three other courses planned, but this is the first, the essentials, of how to begin to see the development of my thought process in my work.
When I was working in retail as my first job after high school, I was assigned to clean the store every morning, before the crowds came in. I would go through each eisle lost in a daze, with deep awe of all the thought in that building. I did this every morning, watching the bookshelves, every title, and wondered if there was a secret to it all. Then when I moved into my section, in the very back, I dreamed of working in the fiction section, attended to by the college students. It would be years until I had enough to get to that. But every day I saw Ulysees, on the third shelf with it’s cover turned toward the eisle, and thought, that must be it. I read it off and on for years. I went to Ireland alone to go to the Martello tower, and try and retrace what I had read. But maybe it was in the moments in between, the clear pathways to each of the books, the bookstore itself, that was that focus. So I wrote a quick poem.
In my mind I see a city, though I never know if it is real or a dream, in visions, in stories and maps. So soft, so vast, as if made of an entire used bookstore, page by page, the feeling of ink in air, drifting, through the corridors, as light falls across each page.
I’ve been studying since the pandemic happened, researching countless articles breathlessly, at so many sites seeking to understand the world and my surroundings, my place in the world and context within it, and building my own reality in fiction writing and expressing the inexpressible in my digital painting work. It took practice, unmitigated, constant focus that made days seem like years. It could have been as if seven years of my life took place during the lockdown. Constantly staring at screens in our urban apartment, and too busy with thought to watch films, or even enjoy music, but today I feel, not quite like graduating, but at the mid term of my life.
I now know who I am, where I’m going, and my mind is finally ready to take flight. The art I see developing in my mind is not like any of the work I have seen in any other places. I have to make this work, and I’ll be writing additionally. I don’t know yet where I’m headed, but I definitely know who I am and what I can do. The hard work begins this week. Taking the inspiration and trying to grow into the world, not just focused on my immediate surroundings. Thank you everyone who has allowed me to grow this year, and while it hasn’t been easy, I’ve benefitted enormously from your honesty, and I hope my honesty in return was enough of a compensation. It took me years to discover who I am, and I hope that no one else has to go through what I went through.
I’m ace, aro. I’m an artist and musician, and my world can only be found in my fiction and poetry. It’s all here for you to read see, and listen to, and I hope to join back into the world tomorrow, as I try to rebuild an independent path forward in the arts. I know we’re all there. The pandemic changed us all, and I’m just seeing that tonight. My writing on this blog, and my new work is here, of all my recent paintings. I’m just at the beginning of this. I’m taking the rest of the holiday evening off, and will be back at it tomorrow, reading the NYTimes, WSJ and Twitter, and engaging with the world again.
It’s been a week and a half of catching up, making my best artwork, and finally excited about the future. For me, independence not only means the beginning of America, but as the spark for ongoing work. America is not perfect, there is so much to do. But I hope today is a moment to reflect on just how far our country has to go, addressing inequality and lifting the marginalized voices and lives that we need to welcome into the greater fabric of the United States. What is this moment? I’m thinking about Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, the injustice in all of our society, too vast to list in one simple post.
This year I finally reach toward my own independence as an artist, showing and selling my work in the form of NFTs, looking into the future, and catching up with blockchain and all of the applications that I have been unaware of in the constant work of school and the pandemic, going on almost eight years. There is so much to share, so much to see. We’re in the future right now if we really look at it. I hope today is a moment to really address the hatred and bigotry in our society, how many more independence days we need to make for everyone. I’m taking the day off to reflect, and maybe paint one more painting for the day, maybe two. Stay positive and happy everyone. Fall in love with this country, and all the artists and writers who free us every day, lifting us to the greatest heights, and bringing us the promise of a new tomorrow.