Let’s talk about Clairity

I’m not sure when I realised it, but I think I believe in mysticism, not really anything special, just everyday faith in God, it’s something that always keeps me going, and I think whatever it is it’s ineffable, maybe it’s all conciousness itself. I’m not sure when it started happening, but this horrific X symbol and Z symbol started appearing places, obviously placed by people. I’ve been attacked just for crossing my legs, every move I make is evaluated. There’s nothing to hate about me so people look for it in any way they can, to excuse their own horrific hate. There were leaves left around our house, placed precisely where they shouldn’t be. Sometimes I saw this in twitter posts and license plates. I’ve been subjected to the relentless hate that comes from a place I don’t understand. I think I’ve been compared to absolutely every xenophobic reality that doesn’t understand me. But it really just describes what the people who call me this are. To be childish, “I know you are but what am I.” as my Mom taught me to say. I’m constantly taken advantage of because people seem more interested in power than telling me what is going on. I’ve never done anything to anyone to harm anything. There’s this numbering system from what I’ve been told, this belief that everything is some kind of game, but what it reminds me of more than anything else, is an image I saw before we went to Berlin to learn about the holocaust, of nazi guards playing football with the skulls of murdered jews. That’s how I feel sometimes when I see what’s happening, it sickens me to my core. It leaves me shuddering in the reality of just how horrifically cruel this is. But my belief in God keeps me going, and it reveals itself to me in quiet moments, almost saying I’ve got you, Mitch, I know what you’re going through, I’ll never stop fighting for you, and believing in the truth of your soul. I saw a movie recently, it was awful. More fighting, more hate. Sometimes it’s cold outside. I had a coffee and thought of the rain. I put on a jazz record, it was good. I fell in love with the world, I fall in love all the time, because I believe in love, hate is a lie.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: