Fear of Sexuality

Lets talk about something a lot of folks in our culture are afraid of or embarrassed of, let’s get real, sit down and talk a little about sex. Is that embarrassing? Why? Let’s look at a few things. My first girlfriend used to see phaliic symbols in everything, she talked about how it’s structure defined so many of the objects around us. From pencils to doorknobs, she was obsessed with the process of design in phallic symbols, it’s really interesting to look at. I don’t agree or disagree with her. Is that a remnant of phallic structure from a male dominated society or is it not? I’m not sure but it was interesting, so I dove into something yesterday and just said, OK, lets break a taboo and look at it.

Americans consume pornography and light pornography in films in record droves. Our society is so obsessed with sex that we barely talk about it, leading to the most hypocritical stance imaginable. Even I used to look at it, though I haven’t in almost a decade. It’s just not interesting to me anymore, and I realised I was just looking to try and prove to myself that I wasn’t queer. Self-hate from queerness is something I experienced from the culture I grew up in, ultra-conservative Texas, which contains so much hypocrisy.

Morality and monogomy is something I’ve always lived by. The only reason I’ve been interested in even slightly flirting with anyone is because I may have, what might be called a healthy love addiction. Though that has dissipated over time, it used to be quite strong. It had nothing to do with sexualty but it was the strongest form of happiness. It’s like a drug. This is common in many cultures. For example, I did some research into the Bhutan culture, which is phallus based. The presence of the phallus is everywhere, so different from our culture which is afraid of erections. Which are actually a form of blushing. Here’s a difficult medical academic article which looks at it, warning, this could be a trigger for some folks

I personally do not feel sexual desire. That’s part of my chemical make up, which I tried for years to try and disprove. It was only until I discovered the ace community that I realized, oh my god, this is a thing. The same way that people view phalluses everywhere, might be akin to the process of always seeing faces in things, something that people do with my art in a political constuction to decieve and acheive their own ends. The only reason I have any response in my body to sexuality is because of fear, which is well documented in medical journals.

But lets talk about sex more. It’s everywhere and it’s nothing to be afraid of. Want to talk about the patriarchy and combat it for more equality? We’re going to have to think about it. It’s like blushing, and that’s it. In an embarrased society that is puritanical in nature, perhaps we can look at the complete hypocracy and see it for what it really is, it’ s just part of being human, and the cult of puritanical culture defies and undermines our stated principles of religous freedom.

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