Distances

Light Fields really gives me a chance to share what my world is like. It’s not something I expected and its happening slowly. Looking back on it I’m realizing that after being somewhat abandoned as a child growing up, I see vast distances of space in all things, the figures moving silently through landscapes alone, searching for something, never quite knowing what it is. These distances can seem bewildering, a vast environment of abstraction and solitude. This silence is like a friend, maybe the only friend we have in our loneliness. I’ve been quiet today. Almost all my experiences have been in a way solitary like a cloudless sky. It makes my friendships that much richer and sacred to me. It may be where my emotions come from. Working as a freelancer was difficult before we moved to the forest. It’s really been a place to heal. But this solitude is so familiar, it’s like my childhood, the cities I traveled alone in, the long walks to school in Chicago, the long commutes to work and school from the East Bay. All of these memories have faded into the distance, so far beyond me that I can’t perceive them anymore. And in these distances I find something I can hold onto, almost nothing at all. The space of time like a chasm, a quiet canyon in the imagination. The possibility of freedom all around us, the faith of something invisible, the air we breathe, that is always with us and giving us life. And its in these moments that I feel peace, even with all the injustices that have broken the silence at times, the attempts to understand what is so clear and true, that only we know our own worlds, and in the distances between each other, we understand something new, something in the space between self and other, in the distances we create the future, together making something that could never be apart, we are all part of this space, the distances, and with each breath, we create, together, something new.

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