Gardens

I’m writing close to the end of the workday this Sunday. We went and looked at a studio near our place in the small, little town in nature that we’re moving to. All morning I felt peace, unlike anything I’ve experienced before. We sat underneath a magnolia tree in a garden, just talking, and we will have our own space to build something new. I hope we get the place. Two weeks from now we’ll have moved from the city, where we’ve lived for so long. I think this is a real chance at renewal, a moment to really step into a new world.

We’re starting over, I hope you are too. Everything we’ve done here, all the joy, all the happiness, all the pain, all the sorrow, for all the mistakes I hope you’ll accept an apology, and know that there are other things here about me you don’t know, anyone who reads this. It’s been a hard year. In my writing I’ve done all I can, to offer something that could help change the world, and if it did, I’ll never know, but I know it changed me. I’m a different person from before the pandemic.

I see things, both eyes open and eyes closed, in my dreaming and realities. And as the dharma suggests, we can all grow, and all change. I’ve tried to grow a garden here, yet seeing the small plot of land we will have to make our own actual garden, one not of dreams but of nature, which itself, is it a dream? This is a new moment. I can literally feel it.

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